Lippy Blog

I wish I could tell you I started going to the gym for the health of my heart, or to enhance my quality of sleep. I WISH I could say something like "I had demons to fight" and you'd think I was really mysterious or something. However, no. I started because I want the teeniest tiniest waist you've ever seen. Like, as in you can't see me when I turn to the side or think I'm some kind of optical illusion. I'd be doomscrolling on Tiktok for hours being bombarded with the most curvaceous bodacious bodies I'd ever seen and decided I wanted one too. In 1999, Cathie Jung, aged 62, was awarded the record for the smallest waist on a living person. She still holds this award today at the age off 86. Standing at 5'8, she has a waist measuring just 21 inches, uncorseted. Well, I hope she's had fun with it, because I'm coming for her title.  With this aim in mind, I’ve been going to JD Gym in Manchester city centre about four times a week. One of my favo...

The year is 2010 and the phone lines have been frozen. Millions of people gather around their TV screens all over Britain in great fear and anticipation. Eight year old me is amongst them. I feel sick, sinking my teeth into my knuckles and sweating profusely from my armpits. Dermot O’Leary is being a smug, power-tripping git and making me want to throw the remote at his face, as he milks his use of prolonged silences. He is supposed to be announcing the third place act, and therefore the next to leave the X-Factor. After what feels like ten years of tense drum beats and clips of Simon Cowell's face, he finally drops it: “One Direction.”  “NOOOOO!” I scream at the TV, “What the hell!!!!” “Language!” Both my parents snap, as my older brother Thomas tauntingly laughs, pushing me into further rage. I’m so done with this ridiculous TV show now. Clearly, it's rigged. It’s fixed. How ON EARTH could 1D lose? I sit down on the brown leather sofa next to my brother and I can feel his sm...